A View From The 17th Fairway

Golfing with Nancy...

Lopez, that is...After my doctor's appointment on Monday, David and I took our 'rain check' from last year and headed out to the Nancy Lopez course. It's been a course I've wanted to play every since I exchanged greetings with Nancy herself at a recent lunch at her casual restaurant, The Legacy.

We had a delicious lunch in a covered patio part of the restaurant. The waiter was more than attentive. David devoured his gourmet burger and I loved my lobster bisque. Other favorites include: Chicken Marsala, Warm Lobster Salad and Beef Stroganoff.

Pleasantly surprised at finding our neighbor behind the desk at the Pro Shop, we got good advice on which of the three nines to play. Each nine is named after one of Nancy's three daughters, Ashley, Erinn & Tori.

Click here for a flyover of the course. Click on your back arrow to return here.

Off we went! Still working with my new hybrid clubs, I hit my drives well, made some good short shots and had a few putts that had David scratching his head (in a good way!) David played well, as usual and had a great time.

We arrived home tired but happy with our day together.

Juxtapostion & Moving Forward

The realization that my mother is in the last stages of her life contrast sharply with my daughter and new son-in-law starting a new life together, full of brightness and promise. This is the ebb and flow of our shared existence on this earth. What can you do but ride the tide...There's so much that you cannot control.

Viv is on a one-way street now. There's nothing more medically that can be done, but ease her transition. It's a heartbreaking process, especially for Dad. The images of his constant tenderness and overflowing love will remain seared in my memory forever. Even in this difficult circumstance, his tender treatment of her, his attempts to allay her fears, correct her distorted perceptions, his gentleness, kindness...running around making sure she is cared for..all this after sixty-four years of marriage...is remarkable in the very least.  Yes, even in this heart-wrenching situation, Viv is wrapped tightly in his loving blanket. Who could ask for more?

Alzheimer's and Dad's Devotion

The wedding has come and gone - It was a weekend to remember! Sunni & Kevin were 'over the moon' happy. And afterall, that was the objective of the whole effort!

I'm here in New York, sorting out my feelings on my mother being admitted to a nursing home. She is in the mid to later stages of Alzheimer's disease. So I'm here for a few days trying to give my Dad the support he desperately needs at this time of his life. He made the decision to put his wife of 64 years there last week. His affection and concern for her are almost overwhelming; his tenderness is heartbreaking. I think he just doesn't know what to do with himself, other than be with her almost every waking moment. He's not getting the rest or break he needs to keep himself healthy.

He did however, start back at 'work' on Monday. He works three days a week at an upscale department store, fixing the fixable retail items to be returned to the floor - or sold as is. At least, that's what I think he does! The benefits to him are obvious - the few hours keep his mind off his wife's sad state, and put him in an environment of younger, healthy people who work retail, the trade he was in his whole working life. So that's a good thing.

Prognosis for Mom? It can't be good. It's a progressive disease, with little hope of turning back, especially in her physical condition. What will happen next? It's anyone's guess, really. My sister and Dad are looking into a nicer place. That would help, although at this late stage, it seems she's getting the care she needs right there, without the trauma of moving her again. But it certainly would be a nicer environment. Whether or not she'd actually know the difference is a moot point. But it probably would make Dad and certainly my sister happier with the surroundings.

The future is uncertain for any of us. For Dad, it's essential that he take care of himself now. For without him, my mother could not survive.